This week the last rounds are fired in the Genesis SNES console war.

The soldiers are wheeled out onto the field by their caretakers, and they look around confused. All is quiet until, after their nap, the Genesisians notice a Mario blanket over the cold legs of a nodding SNESite. An insult is hurled, marking the beginning of the final battle.

After their second nap the fighting continues:

“You think Sonic goes fast? That’s nothing compared to your kids on visitation day.”

“Mario’s moustache looks better on your mother.”

Bodies slumped over and contorted in pain, the fighting ends. Glassy eyes reflecting the clouds as they pass silently overhead—never again to gaze upon the pixels they fought for.

The nurses wheel them back in.